Well, it didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. I am in a fragile state, and was not able to deal with communication issues at the farm. As you may know, I am in the process of divorcing, and my general level of grief makes it more difficult than usual to deal well with conflict. I felt that the issues at this farm were above and beyond what I could cope with. So I packed up the car today and am sitting in an internet cafe in Dayton, not knowing where I will spend the night tonight.
It's a bit scary, but there are a lot of resources and places to visit here. I am not broke. I am ready for a vacation or an adventure. And, as Erin told me before I got there, cheesemaking is 95% dishwashing. Pasteurizing doesn't suit me - the design of the particular pasteurizer made it difficult for someone of my stature. Machine milking goats en masse....uh......things may be the same wherever I go, but I am ready to find out, and to state more clearly what I need up front. At least that's what I've learned from this experience. And I wonder....how do people enter into community living situations like this was without a basis of trust? Of course, contracts and statements of expectations help, but understanding clearly what one needs is a responsibility I can take on. Thanks to life for the learning, and I promise not to repeat the same thing over again!
Juliet: We love you. Stay true to yourself. Keep your chin up. Try to look for little gems of beauty around you and focus on gratitude for their existence. Hold your vision and the right farms and experiences will come along. I don't know what else to say, but I send a big hug and warm wishes your way. I know the lost feeling you are probably experiencing right now. It's lonely, but unexpected amazing things will come out of it.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Krista
I am so sorry to hear that things did not work out the way you had hoped. Hold onto Krista's encouraging words. You obviously have good friends.
ReplyDeleteMy message is a little more on the practical side of life (pretty much where I exsist).
The room above my garage is available if you need a place to stay while you figure out your next step. I can use all the help I can get around here, so I am happy with work trade. No committment needed. We can go week to week. Email or call me if you are interested. If you don't have my contact info, you can get it from Alexandra.
Take care,
Love,
Dawn
Thank you Krista, Dawn, and all who wrote and who reached out! Thank you so much...
ReplyDeleteLove, Juliet